shaman mama

Spacious Summer Days

 

Holding Space

Oh the irony.  I have been really listening to Spirit's calling and following the bursts of inspiration.  Part of this for me has been to begin holding space and teaching yoga in Kamas on Tuesday evenings.  Last week I was so fired up and excited about the potential for community and connecting to each other and something higher in ourselves and each other.  To celebrate the Summer Solstice I had invited everyone to potluck.  One lovely person showed up.  We had an amazing yoga practice together but after I found myself feeling so sad, as if I had failed because more people had not come.  This is such old stuff for me.  

So I went to Spirit with my sadness and my wondering about following the call.  Sometimes when I get on my mat and line up and open up something incredible happens - I feel so tuned in to  myself, the earth, the cosmos and Spirit itself - Om Namah Shivaya - the Great Teacher within and without.  The message was clear.  My job, the calling, is about holding space and time for yoga to happen.  Who and what shows up during that time is Spirit's business.  Whew, what a relief.

Funny, the Solstice is so much about nurturing the seeds of our dreams.  The shoots are up, the plants are reaching for the sun, but not bearing fruit yet.  It takes further persistence and trust and discipline to manifest the fruits of our dreams.  

Blessings to you and your dreams that are manifesting.  

Holding Space

Oh the irony.  I have been really listening to Spirit's calling and following the bursts of inspiration.  Part of this for me has been to begin holding space and teaching yoga in Kamas on Tuesday evenings.  Last week I was so fired up and excited about the potential for community and connecting to each other and something higher in ourselves and each other.  To celebrate the Summer Solstice I had invited everyone to potluck.  One lovely person showed up.  We had an amazing yoga practice together but after I found myself feeling so sad, as if I had failed because more people had not come.  This is such old stuff for me.  

So I went to Spirit with my sadness and my wondering about following the call.  Sometimes when I get on my mat and line up and open up something incredible happens - I feel so tuned in to  myself, the earth, the cosmos and Spirit itself - Om Namah Shivaya - the Great Teacher within and without.  The message was clear.  My job, the calling, is about holding space and time for yoga to happen.  Who and what shows up during that time is Spirit's business.  Whew, what a relief.

Funny, the Solstice is so much about nurturing the seeds of our dreams.  The shoots are up, the plants are reaching for the sun, but not bearing fruit yet.  It takes further persistence and trust and discipline to manifest the fruits of our dreams.  

Blessings to you and your dreams that are manifesting.  

Glee

Our little family loves watching Glee.  You can find it on Hulu.  Granted, the story line is a bit adult for my 8 year old and right over the head of my 1 year old.  I feel some inner conflict about this.  But it is not the story we love as much as the music.  I was wondering if all this was appropriate when the other night we watched the season finale and then downloaded some of the music on itunes.  Then we had a Smith Family Dance Party.  SInging, laughing, dancing and loving being with each other.  It was incredible and reminded me to give myself permission to let go.

Being and Doing

So here we are - summer vacation.  I have been looking forward to this time to simply "BE" without feeling the need to "DO".  Sometimes it is difficult for me to settle into this energy - to relax and not make lots of plans.  What I am finding is that when my days are too planned and full, I am exhausted and so are the kids.  I am giving myself and the kids permission to drink deeply from the well of unstructured time this summer - to explore and follow our own energy.  My friend asked me what I had planned for the kids for the summer and when I replied, "nothing" she said, "oh that's so great.  so many people schedule all the summertime away - it wasn't like this when we were kids."  Childhood is an unfolding, not an enrichment opportunity.  So cheers to long, blissful days of being.

 

The Seat of a Teacher

Teacher

Archetypical guide into our potential - who we are becoming

Integrity

Impeccability

Clarity

Inspiration

Knowledge

I humbly, and with joy go forth on this new adventure to take the seat of yoga teacher - to share in the divine unfolding of my students - to hold the seat of teacher with dignity and grace and great compassion and love.  I look forward to creating the space in which the teaching can come through for each and every one of my students so that they can recognize their beautiful essential self and dance in the grace of the Divine.

The Shaman

The Shaman

works at the edge 

Unbound by space and time

The equals sign of e=mc2  

The bridge between energy and matter

Events, traumas, patterns, LIFE itself happens in space and time at the level of Newtonian physics.  Over time we can often find ourselves in repeating patterns - reliving old hurts that we may or not be aware of at the conscious level - it is very difficult to see our own stuff.  

At the quantum level - all time is now.  The past and the future are available in the present moment at the level of the energetic.  The quantum level is unbound by space and time - at the level of the energetic.  So when we work with our stuff at the level of the Soul- that energy that is our essential self that is also unbound by space and time - we work with stuff at the energetic - the quantum level - we heal the past and the future NOW.

We enter the NOW through ceremony - in sacred space.  This is a space of timelessness - but also 

All Time Ness - all time available now at the quantum level of the energetic in the present moment.

Quantum Time

Refilling the Well

I have been noticing how challenging and difficult it is for us to give ourselves permission to refill our well.  We give and give every day to our children, our careers, maintaining our homes and all the "doingness" that our lives require.  How often do we choose to give to ourselves?  If we go to the well over and over again without replenishing the source, the well will become stagnant, dry, unreliable.  The dry well can manifest as a short temper, being on edge, stress, physical disease, depression and a loss of zest for life.  

When you think of taking time and money to give to yourself, what comes up for you?  Notice your thoughts and what "reasoning" you use to talk yourself out of what your soul is calling for.  You will find that often the only one stopping you is you.  If you want to be the best parent, the best athlete, the best professional you can be, nurture the source.  Take the time and give yourself permission to nurture yourself, to replenish your well.  Choose you, over and over again.  

Spring Equinox

Happy Spring Equinox to all of you - Sunday the balance of light and dark was equal.  It is the time of upward and outward movement, of manifesting all those seeds of intention sown and nurtured in the dark and quiet of winter.  Can we learn to trust that everything that is happening in our lives right now is an opportunity to come into balance?  If we are in drama or turmoil, how can we shift inside to find the middle way in difficult times?  It seems that so many people are going through so much right now - that all that doesn't serve them is coming to the surface for an opportunity to heal and shift.  Will we take that opportunity?  

My deepest prayer for all of you is to trust in the goodness of who you are.  Your true nature is perfect and lacking nothing.  Spring is a time of cleansing - to cleanse away all those habits and affinities that veil the bliss that is available all the time - 

Go outside.  Touch your feet to the earth.  Breathe in the balance and renewal available during these auspicious days.

 

Persecutor

I have been working with leaping off the triangle of victim, rescuer and persecutor for some time.

Notice how whenever drama comes up it can be our habit to jump onto the triangle and deal with what's happening from any one of these positions - sometimes simultaneously.  So I have been paying attention - cultivating awareness of where I go in drama.  I have been more willing to own when I am the rescuer and the victim, but it has been difficult for me to notice when I am perpetrating.  A lightbulb went off when my lovely husband refused to collude with me as I complained about a familiar topic.  He just said, "oh".  Over and over again he refused to collude.  He didn't try to fix the situation or change my mind or agree with what I was saying.  He just said, "oh". I got a glimpse of the feeling - so this is what it feels like to be the perpetrator - when I am so ready and willing to jump on people's shit - to call them out - to flip them off - to be on my high horse of self righteousness - to vent with anger - to get even.  I noticed the feeling inside.  Now I recognize it - oh there I go again - so this is perpetrator.  I am so grateful for this awareness so that I can cultivate a conscious choice of how I want to engage rather than riding along my unconscious reflex.  

Just noticing